Influence

Celebrating Mother’s day can be very different for each of us and for some a difficult time. We all have one thing in common though we all came into the world via our biological mother despite either the pain or the joy of our stories.

The privilege of being a mum has included many things for me over the years and sometimes I have influenced my kids for good and unknowingly or at times unintentionally sometimes for bad. Kids are little sponges aren’t they and it is scary sometimes how much they take in and then give it back to you, it is really challenging when you see your not such great characteristics in your kids. That’s when we as mums say goodness they are like their dad, those traits have definitely come from his side. It is confronting though, isn’t it? And what a privilege to truly influence and shape these little lives from the very beginning of their lives……

What is influence, the dictionary tells us it is the capacity to have an effect on the character, development or behaviour of someone or something. So, we can influence others for good (positive) or bad (negative).

How to influence for good (positive):

How to:

•       Show respect for the other person’s opinions.

•       Know who you are and what you believe in and your values.

•       Practice what you are good at – if you are good at cutting lawns, cleaning, helping, accepting others, cooking then be who you are, embrace that, enjoy who

you are, don’t be ashamed of who you are, share yourself in this way – reach out despite people’s responses to you.

•       Keep it simple – sometimes we overcomplicate it – listen, hear the need, meet the need actions speak louder than words.

•       Immeasurable – when you influence for good, it is immeasurable.

Influencing for bad (negative):

Be Careful:

•       To understand when to listen and when to speak otherwise we can potentially influence others for bad or it can have a negative impact.

•       Practice what you believe – first of all know what you believe, if you don’t practice what you believe you may influence others for bad – we are often taught

fake it to you make it – unfortunately this doesn’t produce authenticity it takes great character to be honest yet strive for excellence, it’s a delicate balance in

every stage of life and is an ongoing lifetime lesson.

•      Forgive yourself – if you do unknowingly or unintentionally influence someone for the bad like your kids or others, ask the other person to forgive you and

also forgive yourself – practice forgiveness everyday if you have had someone in your life that has influenced you for the bad, even a mother, don’t hold it

against them, work through the process of forgiveness or seek some help to get someone to assist you in this process – remember forgiveness is a choice but is

also a process.

•    Do not rebel – if someone has influenced you for the bad, don’t rebel against them – if you have influenced others for bad, don’t hold onto guilt from the past,

it won’t serve you or anyone else, it will hinder your influence – true guilt is meant for us to seek forgiveness and change our behaviour, not to be a burden or

cause rebellion.

•   No excuses – if you have been influenced by bad, by someone or something or have influenced someone else for the bad, it’s what we then do with it that

counts, I don’t know if you have noticed how crazy the world is ATM – this calls for no excuses on our behalf, we don’t have time, there is so much at stake,

and the world needs us to influence for good.

Have you ever thrown a rock into a pool of water? You see when we influence others it causes a ripple effect, the water ripples out and this is the same with our influence we can either influence others for either good (positive) or bad (negative).

Written by Anita Baills